If you can't handle this, you can't handle me.

I've noticed lately that there are a lot of things about me that make me an acquired taste... or rather, things that make me a rare breed of girl that seems to puzzle most. While I think most of these things are normal, I realize a lot of these things actually aren't. So I guess this is a warning, not only for prospective dates/partners (though most of it is), but for prospective friends as well. If you can't handle at least some of this, you can't handle me.

1. I will not make you my entire world. I will spend time with other people.
2. I have a lot of guy friends. Most of my friends are guys, in fact. I relate to them better. And if we date, I'm not going to be willing to sacrifice those relationships for ours. If you are truly worth my time, you will accept that about me.
3. I make random chewbacca noises. Sometimes I don't realize I'm doing it. If I do it, it's typically because I'm happy, or really comfortable where I'm at, who I'm with. If you respond to me in the same fashion, it makes you pretty awesome (hence the talk wookie to me title of my last post).
4. If given the option, I will eat like a dude. I don't do that rice-cake and fruit bullcrap. I'm a real human being that requires real food. Steak. Bacon. Potatoes. Etc.
5. I do not hiccup. I bark. You'll know it when you hear it. It's a mix between a baby seal and Toto from Wizard of Oz. If you don't find them even slightly endearing, things are bound to fail between us. Oh, and did I mention they happen intermittently and randomly throughout the day, every day?
6. I like music. A lot. Mixed CDs are the one sure fire way to get my interests peaked.
7. I typically don't like being paid for. It's nice sometimes, but I like to be able to feel that I can take care of myself. I'm really easy to take care of, honestly.
8. I am forgiving. A little too forgiving sometimes. I will snap on you once you've pushed me too far. But if you come back a day or two later, I will be totally fine with you, like it never happened, especially if you've apologized.
9. When I'm mad, I'm quiet. Not just "I'm not going to speak to you for 5 minutes." Oh no. It's like a full out  "I'm planning your murder in my head and UNTIL you have the balls to come up to me, I will make it even longer and more agonizing for you in the end because you really pissed me off " kind of quiet. And if I start grinning at you after not talking to you for a prolonged silence....run. That's when shit gets messy. I'm very Joker-esque when I'm really snapping.
10. My idea of a perfect date is super simple. Call me up. Say, "Hey, it's (name). You working on (day of the week) around (time)? I was thinking about getting some Chinese takeout and maybe watching some rat-pack movies form the 80s. Sound good?" And I would be like, "Oh hell yes, I will be there." Because that is something I have never had happen, is someone just call me up and have a plan. And not just any plan, but a plan that you know that I will like. The more you get to know me, the easier it will be to plan a date (common sense here).
11. I don't believe in Valentine's Day. Even when I have someone in my life, I think it's stupid. If you really care about that person, you should show it throughout the year, not just on some day that has been blown out of proportion by major corporations. If you want to do something for Valentine's Day, invite me over for breakfast that we can make together. I like things like that better than all the show of flowers and candy and reservations. Maybe give me one of your beat up shirts or hoodies if you really feel the need to give me something. Flowers die and candy makes you fat. Stuffed animals and memories are the way to go.
12. I love, love, love owls and elephants. They're beautiful creatures.
13. I like it when people take pictures. I like it when I take pictures. I like documenting moments, people, everything. I want to remember how I felt when something happened, and who I was with when it happened, and pictures do that for me. So take pictures. Lots of them.
14. I'm honest. Sometimes a little too honest, probably. But I will tell you things that I know you don't want to hear because I will know that it is what you need to hear.
15. If I screw up, you'll know it. Because I'll tell you. And I will apologize and do everything in my power to fix what I did, or at least to change things in the future. But if I tell you how bad I screwed up, it means I value you more than anything, because I am admitting that I was wrong (I'm very prideful), and I am telling you that I want things to be better, that I don't want things to be rocky between us later when you find out from someone else. It means that I want you to be with me for me, and not for what you think I am. It pretty much means that I love you.
16. I don't like "I love you" when it first gets said. Especially if you say it first in a text or something of the sort. I like to be told, face to face. I don't think that's too much to ask for. But I'm always wary of a guy telling me that he loves me, because everytime I've let myself believe that they meant it,  something went wrong. Like they dumped me a week later. Or they told me they'd never meant it. Or they "just stopped" loving me one day. If I say it to you, and you don't feel it, TELL ME. Don't feel obligated to say it back. Sure, it might be awkward for a few seconds, but I'll get over it. If you're not there yet, you're not there yet. I'm not going to press the issue. I might accidentally allow myself to say it occasionally, but for the most part, I will wait for YOU to say it before I do again.
17. I have a curfew that is unwavering. Sun-Thursdays I have to be home by 10pm, and Fri/Saturdays 11pm. I live with my Grandma, and she can't sleep until I am home. So don't ask me if I can get an extension, because the answer will always be no. Unless you're a girl and I'm crashing at your place.
18. I'm generous when I can afford to be. Don't take advantage of it, because I will remember it, and I won't be so generous next time. And I'll also be more likely to call upon you when I'm broke and want to do something. What comes around goes around.
19. The only time I will allow other people to pay for me (when it isn't a date) is when I am SUPER broke. Because I am an adult and I have bills. Lots of bills. And I will always make it up to you when I can afford to. Always.
20. I don't really like StarWars... I know. It's un-American. And very strange considering my random Chewbacca noises. But I truly thought that it was really boring. Granted, I only watched Ep4, and I have been told that The Empire Strikes Back would maybe improve my opinion. I cannot sit there and watch it by myself. I will have to watch it with someone who enjoys it. I feel like I could like it if I watched it with a good feeling, and not with my Grandma who was equally as bored out of her mind when we watched it about a year ago.
21. I like kids. So younger siblings don't bother me. I also like dogs and cats and everything else. I might not want to cuddle your pet Tarantula, but I would be willing to hold him. Snakes and spiders and such don't phase me. I grew up with boys and lots of dirt and bugs.
22. When I'm scared, I get mean. If you're pulling a joke, I'll maybe instinctively hit you, but then laugh and say some smart-ass comment like, "Well you deserved it, dilweed." But if you're doing something that is really scaring me, and I know you're not kidding, but you're doing it for power purposes, you better be prepared. I may be smallish, but I can be...well...very She Hulk if need be. And I can guarantee you do not want that. At least one person has learned the hard way.
23. I want to spend time with you, but I don't want to be with you every waking second. I'd say 2-3 times a week for a hangout of some sort is perfect at the beginning. Eventually, there will be a routine, I'm sure, as we're all ceautres of habit. 
24. I have Bro Nights with my guy friends. I'm sure you have Bro Nights with your guy friends. You guys's always seem to be more routine than ours, like a weekly thing. But I will almost NEVER ask you to give up a scheduled Bro Night to be with me. If I do, it's probably something important (like a family thing, or a significant anniversary), or we haven't seen each other in a longer time than since you've seen your bros. I understand the importance of Bro Nights. Even I am very Bros Before Hos. If you tell me you're skipping Bros Night to be with me, either you better be doing something really freaking fantastic with me, or you're going to see me leaving, and hear me telling you to hang out with your guys. I don't like feeling like I've been made out to be that girl who makes you abandon their friends. So don't make them think I am that girl, please.
25. PDA is not my deal. There is a certain point where it's too much. You will most likely figure out what that point is fairly quickly. I'm not a prude, but I'm not showy. I feel awkward when couples I'm friends with do it, so I try not to make them feel awkward. I think it's a fairly normal philosophy. Or at least it should be.

I don't expect you to remember all of this. I don't expect you to remember any of this, honestly. This is more like a reference sheet, if you ever need it for whatever reason, whoever you are. I'd like to think that you are someone nice, and not someone creepy.

And I hope that whoever decides to use this is someone that I find enjoyable. I'd hate for you to go through all of this, use it, and still not succeed in whatever your goal is.

So good luck to whoever you are. 

Good luck and Goodnight <3