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Monday, April 22, 2013

Mental Break

Alright, folks. I figured I should probably let you know that there will be a fairly long span of time between this and my next post.
Why?
I'm  taking a mental break. I've been stressing out a lot lately about school, bills, work, etc. So I need to get rid of some distractions in order to focus on fixing any remaining problems.
Right now, my main focus is school. Since the end of the semester is coming up, I figured I should at least attempt to finish off on a decent note in all of my classes. I have a lot of projects that are all due in the next few weeks that I need to work on. For example, I have 10 essay questions for my HUM class that all need one page answers due this Wednesday. I will be working on those today while I wait for Aaron to get off of work.
I also have two BIO projects: one individual paper, and another group one, which are both due on the 6th of May. My individual paper is on A.L.L. (acute lymphoblastic leukemia), and while I know quite a bit about it, it's not quite enough to write an entire paper about. I'm finding it fairly difficult to find anything new about it on the internet, as well. My "group" project (really a partner project, since one guy dropped the course) is on gene therapy, which I neither wanted, nor have any interest/knowledge in. And my partner and I seem to have some kind of communication issues. She never responds to emails, so I have no idea what all she's accomplished yet.
Also due the week of the 6th is my ECE portfolio, which requires 4-5 papers, each a summary about a different age group and the developmental stages of each group. It ALSO requires multiple articles from magazines and the news about each age group. Sounds easy, but it's proving to be difficult.
Tomorrow, I have a test in my ECE class, and next Monday I have a BIO test.
So.
I need some time to work on things for school. This week is going to stress me out more than it should, but I anticipate that I'll get through it. Aaron's helping me as much as he possibly can, and I'm taking steps such as this in order to get away from distractions that I often let get to me. My Facebook is even in his control, as I had him change my password until the end of the semester so I couldn't log in.
Tomorrow I'm going to try to finish some of my ceramics projects after my test. Then I'm going to apply at the pub and see where that takes me.
I also have a lot of medical bills coming in for my ER visit at the beginning of March, and of course, my insurance company has to investigate blah blah blah.

So here goes my mental break, folks. Have a good end of the semester, I'll see you soon! If I get the job before the end of all of this, I'll let you know!

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Everything, All at Once. You're Welcome.

Well Hello there! I see some of you are still interested enough in my mundane life to click on that link :) Glad to see you again! I (as usual) have no particular plan for this post, but I promise it'll be more light hearted than my last one.

Life has been treating me fairly well since that night, though I have had some bad nights. Just have to push through them, and it's a lot easier doing so knowing that I have the support of people like Aaron's family. Work hours even picked up for a little bit (I got 10 hours this week, but only 4 next)! Which is nice, because I had to pay my first bill for my new phone ($104...ouch), and 3 months worth of my storage unit ($150... I hadn't paid since January, so $30 of that was late fees...). So my wallet is crying for some green (and I just realized I get paid tomorrow. Thank god!), and so am I.

Though I'm thinking about changing banks... Mine is really starting to bother me. I still have money in my account (not a lot of extra, but enough for what I tried to get at Panda Express), and my card keeps getting declined everywhere (thanks again, Aaron, for stepping in at the register. I'll get you next time). They also advertised my checking and savings accounts as a free service, but every quarter, if I don't have $100 in each of my accounts (and with these hours, it's nearly impossible), they take $15, which has put me in the hole a couple of times, resulting in overdraft fees as well. It's ridiculous. So I think I'll transfer everything over to a credit union near home that is 100% free checking/savings accounts.

I also may soon have a second job (if I get my butt over there to apply soon) at a local pub, thanks to my friend Stephanie and her family. They told me that the place often hires people, and while that also means they often fire people, I've heard it's mostly because the servers get pregnant, which is no concern of mine and Aaron's. Even if it's just a temporary thing, it'll give me more money, and possibly more hours. Also, it'll give me experience in the waitressing field, which surprisingly, is something I have not done yet. And with school ending soon, my availability will open up, which means more hours :) So here's to hoping that all goes well. Don't want to count my chickens before they're hatched.

The art show business was today, and while I didn't win anything, it was still a good time. The piece that won was absolutely gorgeous, and she deserved the win, hands down. We had some tasty lunch and that was about all. I snuck Aaron some of the extra grub after most everyone had left, much to his enjoyment.
Also at RVC today was a free comedian show that Aaron and his office had put together. His name was Rob Gleeson, and he was a pretty funny guy (he'd have to be to be a comedian). He seemed very personable, and involved quite a few of us in his show. It was an hour well spent :)

This is my boyfriend...he's adorable.
Another hour well spent tonight was in our sacred booth at McDonald's. Aaron & I, Chelsea, Ryan, and our friend Tanner all piled up into our booth after their band rehearsal and chit chatted until lame old me had to go home for curfew. I like nights like these, because they force me to go out and be social, which hasn't been my MO as of late. I've been really homebody like the last few weeks.

Though, I have to say, Rachel and I have been hanging out a little bit more than usual. Last Friday, at Aaron's house, we tried to set her up with our friend Matt, if you recall. It seemed to go really well, but didn't end up working out between the two of them, which is just fine because... I set her up on another double date with my friend, who also happens to be named Aaron. So, from now on (in this post at least), "my" Aaron will be Aar, and "hers" will be full on Aaron. So we all met up at Culver's on Tuesday night and hung out for a bit. Aar decided to put on the bib of his own accord, ps. Luckily, Rachel and Aaron had met briefly beforehand, so when I was once again forced to leave because of curfew, I wasn't too worried about leaving them stranded together. Apparently they hit it off better than I thought, and are now an official couple. Good for them! :) And go me (just a little) for getting them together ;)

So it seems that we now may have a double date team, since Allie and Cody never seem to have time to go outside of their relationship to include others in any activities lately. Don't mean to sound bitter, though I know I probably do. Just one of those things that gets to me, I guess. For someone that's supposed to be my best friend, you'd think you'd read more about her in here, huh? Oh well. Summer is coming, and she's dealing with graduation crap (getting that diploma), so she is fairly busy. Summer is coming, so we'll see how things start to go then.

In other news, the weather around here is ridiculous. There was one day that was absolutely beautiful (I even broke out a sundress, which rarely happens) and ever since, all we have gotten is rain. Rain. Rain. Rain. And...you guessed it...more rain. My wall is soaked from a leak in the roof, so that looks real cute. But when this insane storm finally passes, it should get fixed. If it were only a bit warmer, I wouldn't mind all of the rain. But it's chilly. Cold, wet, and windy isn't very fun :( But I saw this video today, and while it's slow at first, when it starts happening, you can't stop it from happening. Hopefully none of the roads around here get this bad, or we'll start having some real problems! Hopefully that link works, you'll have to let me know if it doesn't. It's to a public Facebook post, but you never know when something's going to go jank.

Also, I really hope that this weather quits because Rachel and I have decided to do the Couch to 5K program in hopes of getting back into some shape (because while round is, in fact, a shape, it is not a flattering one) and slim down a bit. We both like running, but need to work back up to it, so this program seems perfect. It's going to happen, but this weather needs to cooperate, dangit.


Also, in relation to running. The Boston Marathon Bombings? What the hell? That's definitely not okay. Though I hear that there have been reports of possible suspects already, thank god! And since that article is from the Chicago Tribune, I would say that it's a reliable source. Let's hope they catch these assholes, if nothing for vengeance for those mercilessly murdered and maimed (Whoa. Lots of M's there. My bad). And while yes, it is tragic that a young boy died, I feel a moral obligation to also mention the two other victims of the senseless act. So here is to Krystle Campbell, Martin Richard, & Lu Lingzi. Forever remembered </3 All of my love goes to their families, and to the other injured victims of the bombings. Such an incredible day, ruined by a few of society's scum.



Let's all strive tomorrow, and every day following, to be better human beings, because it's what the world deserves. Let's all strive tomorrow, and every day following, to be better friends, better sons & daughters, better husbands & wives, and better mothers & fathers, because it's what our loved ones deserve. And let's all strive tomorrow, and every day following, to be better individuals, because it's what we deserve. As a community, as a nation, as the human race. We deserve to be better. We can be better. So let's strive. Let's succeed.


Not going to lie, I'm pretty proud of that last part I wrote. I love it when words just flow out of me like this. It's such a beautiful feeling.

Another beautiful feeling is waking up from a good night's sleep, which I fully intend on doing in the morning (before, of course, I start my striving ;) ). So, this is where we part ways.

Goodnight, loyal readers. You are the reason I keep writing :)



Monday, April 8, 2013

Same Old Song and Dance, My Friend

I really feel that this is going to be a really awful post. I know I want to write, but I don't know what to talk about specifically, so it might be a little bit crazier than usual.
I guess I could briefly talk about my birthday, not that anything super elaborate or special happened. I spent the daytime doing what I love most, curling up at Aaron's and being a bum. We went to get his new phone, and then just watched TV until we had to meet my folks for dinner. He bought me a beautiful bunch of flowers, which made me very happy, because it meant he finally accepted the Chicago trip as my gift.
There weren't any awful parts, but I was still on edge all night. I had to throw him to the wolfpack, my mother included. But they all were on their best behavior for him, thank god. I made out pretty well for my birthday, considering. I just have to make sure I spend the money on the bills I have first, rather than on the things I want. Plus, Mom took me shopping so I should be okay for a little while for new clothes.
Daisies, one of my favorites :)

I'm having a dilemma with my phone. I want to put all of this stuff on it, like music and such, but I don't have enough storage space. I also am having a dilemma with my wallet in turn, because I would need to get a microSD card big enough to last awhile, which would probably have to be a 16 or 32 GB card. Buuuut like I said, bills before wants. Gotta keep my priorities straight.
Speaking of which, the end of the semester is coming up, which is both exciting and terrifying all at once. I just feel this...doom looming over my head. All of my profs deciding to give you these massive projects due all in the same week. Like my ECE class, a 100 point portfolio on childcare, and of which has not been explained very well whatsoever. May 9th. BIO, a group project (of which my group was reduced a member today, as he dropped the course) on Genetic Counseling. May 6th. BIO, a paper on a genetic disease, which is too hard for me to decide on (though one was mentioned today in class that intrigued me a bit). May 6th. Ceramics, 6 bowls, 2 mugs, 2 vases, and a coil pot, April 25th.... like seriously??? That'll be the class that gets me. I'm trying to do it in bits and pieces, pace myself. 
I finished 4 bowls today that I've been working on for a while. They're not perfect, but they're done. Which is what matters to me. Throwing is getting more difficult, I'm discovering. I keep messing up my walls, trying to make them thinner than they want to be. It's becoming a real problem, because they just all of a sudden go flying off the wheel into my hand or lap, and I have to start all over again with another wedge of clay. Such a waste of time (says the girl that left about an hour early today because she didn't feel like doing anything other than trimming bowls). I think as long as I actually stay the whole time in class the rest of the semester, I should be fine. It's just a motivational thing.
Like so many other things, my problem is motivation. Though after last night, I think I may have reached a mini-breaking point on one issue. I just don't like myself, and I can feel it becoming a real issue. I just see myself in this terrible light, and I can say I want to fix it all I want, but until I do it, all I am is talk. I keep being told that I have no reason to worry, as well, which is both counter productive and a beautiful lie.
I'm fat. I know I'm fat. I can feel it when I sit down. When I walk and my belly jiggles. When I'm curled up with Aaron and he wraps his arm around me. But I think my biggest problem is knowing that the shirts I bought last summer to be flowy...aren't flowy anymore. And I look at pictures from last year's Summerfest, and realize that I was gaining weight even then, and it just makes me mad at myself. I look at my legs and think, dear god, why did no one tell me, because some of those shorts were god awful. And then I see the progression of "baby fat" to "looks like a baby bump but it's really just a food baby" to just plain "fat" around my midsection. I had a stereotypical girl moment last night when he curled up around me to watch Hunger Games. I actually felt like crying (a lot, too), which is ridiculous, and I know it's ridiculous, because Aaron loves me the way I am. But I don't want him to have to love me the way I am, because I don't want to love me the way I am, and I probably never will. I just need to get up and do something about it. He makes jokes about how he's getting fat, and I just want to smack him a little bit for it. While I know he's joking, it always makes me think, if he's fat then I'm a whale. So that's always nice. And while I try to joke about my own weight occasionally, there's always a hint of seriousness in it. But for whatever reason unforeseen to me, Aaron doesn't seem to care that he's dating someone that looks pregnant after she eats and has serious love handles and thunder thighs. I want him to be able to flaunt me, not drag me along like his pet cow. I want him to have a reason to be proud to be seen with me, I guess, because I don't see why he would be right now.
I guess it's just summer coming that's making me upset about all of this. He'd probably rather have a confident thick girlfriend than a self conscious skinny one. Or at least I can hope so, because no matter how much I say I want it gone, I really don't feel like it's going to happen anytime soon.

“I like to complain and do nothing to make things better.”
— Kurt Cobain

I don't really know why I have these random cat pictures, but oh well. They're both fairly amusing in my opinion, though. I think I'm going to try to finish this episode of Burns & Allen and maybe get some shut eye, though. I make myself weary these days.
I'm but a wisp of a person, being carried by the mundane day-to-day chaos that is my life. And by chaos, I mean the constant worry of bills and small paychecks, and things like that.
I'm really thankful for the people I have close to me in my life. They get me through a lot. I'm really thankful for the two extra families I've picked up along the way. Allie's family is truly the best family I could ask for from a best friend. They're going to be stuck with me for the rest of time whether they want a third child or not. And Aaron's family is the best group of crazies that I'd like to keep around for a long while. We might actually be that weird family where the wife gets along with her in-laws someday (or at least I'd hope we'd still get along by the time we would get married).
Anyways, I said I was going to go to bed... so here's the Same Old Song and Dance routine...and have fun.

Goodnight y'all. Sorry to have dumped my insecurities on you. Have a wonderful next few days, folks :)



Thursday, April 4, 2013

The Final Countdown

Yesterday was chaotic, for sure. I did not post, I'm sorry to those of you that care. I think this is going to start being a multiple time during the week post, depending on how much I have to talk about. Nightly is getting to be too much of a commitment for me, as you can all tell.
I finally finished everything on my elephant, here's the end product :)

I also spent some time with Allie, which is always wonderful.

I got my phone, it's absolutely beautiful. I will be addicted to it in no time.

Everything past that is too complicated and dumb to bother with. Best way to put it is that I got to deal with high school drama, and a lot of it at that. I thought it would be restricted to one individual (who everything was cleared up with after all day), but apparently not.

Now I am syncing a million different things to my phone and listening to an old XC workout CD. So, an appropriate song, since there are very few minutes until my birthday and a million FB notifications...

Have a fantastic day! :) I know I will! This..... soon....



Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Going Batty

Today was a whirlwind of chaos for I think just about everyone.
I'm tired, and don't feel very good, though, so I think I'll go to bed. I'll have plenty of time to tell you about my weirdo life tomorrow after I get out of class and get my phone. So, I bid you goodnight with a song that has been stuck in my head thanks to a really odd dream last night...or this morning, I'm not really sure. But HERE you go :) Oh, and here are some pictures of the Fox Faced Fruit Bat, of which I fully intent on having someday. How could you say "no" to a face like these?! They're absolutely beautiful, just look at those wings <3





Goodnight everyone <3

Monday, April 1, 2013

Too Cute for Your Eyes

So today was pretty neat. I was picked up in my trusty boyfriend's chariot this morning for the ride to school, and that's always a treat.
In ceramics today, I found out my elephant is going into some kind of art show. My instructor put me on the spot for a title, and my table-mate suggested "Junk in the Trunk" so I just went with it because I had nothing coming to mind. How unfortunate for my beautiful elephant :P
Rachel and I hung out until Aaron got off of work, during which time I went through and weeded out some unnecessary Facebook friends. She took an interest in Matt (if you don't remember, he was the one on the couch with Aaron a few posts back), and so we are currently trying to arrange some kind of get together for the 4 of us, so that they can maybe hit it off. Matt and Rachel are both good people, for sure. They both deserve to be happy :)
The rest of the day was of course spent at the house just bumming around. I futzed around on the computer for a little bit while Aaron napped (he had a crummy last chunk of work that tired him out...and though I took a quick snapshot of him, I'm keeping it to myself. It's too cute for your eyes). We worked on some of his Spanish homework, since he's not happy with how he's doing in the class currently. I was surprised at how much I remembered, to be honest. I guess I just need the occasional memory jolt. I'll probably keep helping him out for the rest of the semester, even if he doesn't end up really needing it, but because I really do enjoy the Spanish language.
I think I ate too much of the candy in my basket today... my tummy hurts a little bit. So I'm probably just going to sit here and relax before my busy day tomorrow. I'll keep you posted on the excitement :P
Whooo!
My life may not be the most exciting thing to you, but I find it quite enjoyable. I am perfectly happy with being "boring."