Tomorrow Will Be Better

Today has been fairly blah. I worked until 4, and got coated in cardboard and grodiness from the stuff I had to unload and tag, but a lot of it was delicious smelling coffee, so I guess it was worth it. We also got a ton of Turtles candy, and I was disappointed when Derek took all of them away in his little shopping cart for his project. I freaking love those things.
I went over to Aar's after work, since we both have night class on Thursdays. It's always nice to hang out with him. And as much as Chelsea thinks we don't want her around, it's not true. We get time by ourselves, too, so she has nothing to worry about, at least not in my opinion. Tomorrow might be another one of those times, and I'm glad to spend time with him, whether we end up going on a double/triple date or not. I just like being around the guy.
Chelsea's been a little snot tonight :P She snuck up on me when I was singing by myself in one of the practice rooms at school, and then left. I went back to what I was doing, and the next thing I know, there's a *knock knock* on the door. She brought Aaron, the little twerp. Now she caught me twice, which is no biggie, she's heard me singing in the car and the school talent shows a bazillion times, but when I saw Aaron there the second time... just sdfghjkiuytredfcvgbhnm is how I felt. Like...damnit.
We went to Taco Hell without any incident and watched dumb YouTube videos in the lobby.

Fairly short day, nothing too stellar worth typing out. Tomorrow I'm busy though. School, then Stephanie's, then Allie's, then hanging out on some form of date, which obviously will include Aar.
I'm sure I'll have a much more exciting day tomorrow for y'all to read about. All 1,525 of you ;)
Goodnight everyone :)

I Love You, Allison Justine

I've been so dead tired all day long. My eyes keep trying to close, and it was just awful. After my dentist appointment, I just wanted to curl up under a warm blanket and sleep.

In ceramics today, I started throwing on the wheel. I'm so incredibly bad at it. Okay, not bad, just super messy. I wore leggings today for comfort purposes, and at the end of class, they were coated in clay. I seriously did something I never thought I'd do.
I washed my pants in a bathroom sink. I dried them under the hand dryer. I seriously stood in the women's bathroom at RVC with just my hoodie and underwear showing for a good 5 minutes minimum. Luckily no one came in to see me doing this strange thing, but still. The fact that I did is is awful enough. But I didn't want white splatter all over my legs when I went to the dentist's office and beyond. So yes. I took off my pants in the bathroom and washed them. Like a boss.

Then Chelsea, Allie, and I went out to Olive Garden for dinner. Allie originally told me she was sick, so she probably wouldn't go. I had some extra time before I was supposed to meet Chelsea, so I called her and said, "I'm bringing you soup whether you like it or not," and did just that. Which ended up with her going with us to dinner anyways.
After dinner, Chelsea ditched us for work (loserface) and I had mail at my parent's house. So we made the treacherous journey to the house. The strangest thing happened. Mom was nice. Like offer-me-a-tank-of-gas-in-the-future nice. I blame the aliens. They're taking over, I swear. But we ended up getting sucked into the weirdest black vortex of story telling and question asking and time warp ever. We ended up leaving a lot later than expected, but hey. Allie was there to deal with it too. She's a trooper.

She's totally a part of the family, because she came into my house (where I actually live) and hugged Grandma and was all like, "I MISS YOU!!" and Grandma was just like, "whoa." Totally caught off guard. And Sam, Allie's dog, was shaking from excitement when I got there. This is true bestfran material here, people. But the part that makes me know that she's my best friend is that she deals with my crazy family with me. And for that I love her to bits. Absolute bits.

I love you, Allison Justine. No one will ever have as good a friend as I have :) <3 I can't wait until we go get our tattoos together and finally begin to rule the world like the true badasses we are. And I promise, I'll always let you eat the leg. Because you always eat the leg :)

What A Day

Wow. Where do I even start...
Well Chelsea and I woke up around 10:30, so we could go to a little place just past the state line for breakfast. It was delicious as always, as you can see :)

We also found Chelsea's new boyfriend. He's got some seriously massive wood problems... but she likes the beard, and love is blind, so I have to accept that... as much as it kills me inside.... haha

 Then.........there were clothes to be tried on and put back.

After dropping Grandma back off at home, Chelsea and I went to spend some time at the mall before her class at 4:30. Well. It started snowing, really hard, and really fast. So you know what we do? Stop and get shakes on our way to the mall. Yep, shakes. Well, we managed to avoid the perfume department nuts in Bergner's, and make it safely to other normal stores. Like Charlotte Russe. As always, we started trying on random dresses, hoping to find something that looked halfway decent on us. I really didn't mind the one on the top right, until I saw the slits running up to mid thigh on both sides. And how much larger my butt looked (you can't see it in the picture, that is fully intentional...). As Chelsea said, my butt "looked pregnant" in that dress. No thanks. That one on the left was okay, but not really my thing.
But. I found these. And I really liked these. This jean shirt dress was amazing, but the price tag was not. I was comfortable with the length, and the arms, and it was just all around good. I also found this army green jacket there, and if I'd had the money, it would be in my room as we speak. Because I want this jacket more than I probably should. It was a good length on me, the color was great, it was a good heavy spring time coat, and it was just... made for me, I swear. I mean just look at it! Amazing :) And yes, the tiger on my shirt has a mustache. Don't be judging.

We found some very intersting things as well. Take these shoes for example. Scary heels much?

And of course, the ever so charming Claire's had some funky things as always.

Chelsea is such an obedient little model ;)

Well when we left the mall empty handed, my car was absolutely coated with snow. And it wasn't the cottony light snow. It was the heavy wet packing snow. Ew. So we wiped Charlie off and started very slowly making our way through the lot. It was awful. The roads were awful. On one of the busiest streets in town, most people around here go about 55-60 mph on a daily basis. But I think I maxed out at 23 mph on our way home. Our college even shut down for the night, which pretty much never happens. So needless to say, Chelsea's test was also cancelled, and our plans changed.

We both ended up going by to visit the cripple, with a load of VHS tapes and old Spyro games and Kleenex boxes in hand. I think tonight was just excellent, and you guys don't even know the best part. But anyways, we watched Lion King, ate some hot dogs and potato chips, watched Mulan, and played some of the original Spyro. I rediscovered how badly I play that game. Chelsea took some terrifyingly awful pictures of me and Aar, but I guess I'll throw them up here anyways. They're both goofy in some way or another haha

Aaron seems to be doing a lot better than he was yesterday, which is good. His coughing still sounds really painful, and he had a slight fever again tonight, but his voice sounds more like itself, and he's more up and moving around. He even let me kiss him on the lips tonight, so he must be feeling better than he has been ;)

We all made it back home safely, which is good, considering the road conditions. And Aaron was at his house, so he better be safe.
Alrighty, well, I am hitting the hay. Class in the morning and a dentist's appointment afterwards. Whoo!!
Thanks for dropping by :)
Goodnight (and what a good night it was indeed) <3

I'm A Beck & Call Wench and I'm Proud Of It

Okay, now that I got my frustration out, let's talk about the wonderful parts of my life.

I didn't throw today in ceramics, I decided to work on glazing some stuff, and started my sgraffito cylinder (you essentially paint the clay when it's wet, then let it dry until it's crumbly to the touch, then scrape your design in, leaving the white tone of the clay to show through). I also found out we will be working on masks very soon, and started sketching mine (with some notes). I really hope it turns out well... I think I may have bitten off more than I can chew, but that's kind of my M.O. I'm thinking either shaped/carved wood for the tusks or hollow clay cones, I haven't decided quite yet. I scribbled this down in maybe a minute or so, so it's really rough still, with very little details, but hopefully the end product will be great.

I also visited the sickly young man I am tied to. I brought him some NyQuil, some cold/flu meds, and some Kleenex. Oh, the excitement about the Kleenex. He's such a sweetheart in his penguin pj pants ;) I really hope he feels better soon, the poor thing. He called into work for the first time ever this morning :( I'm hoping the meds kick the crap out of whatever he's got. They certainly worked for me when I needed them. Even when he's half dead and coughing like he's been smoking for 50some odd years, I'd have rather been curled up and warm next to him than across the room in his computer chair. I just want him to feel better. He's wonderful, he deserves to feel wonderful. But until then, he's stuck with me being his beck & call wench. I'll do what I can to get him back to his normal self :)

Also, I have begun to notice a very peculiar pattern in my life. Any time that I don't bother putting on makeup, that's when all these random dudes start conversing with me. Take today in ceramics, for example. Julian, a dude I have never spoken with, struck up an entire conversation with me. I don't know if it was because he felt like it was awkward just standing there in silence glazing our pots together or what. But he started asking me about high school, what I did for fun, really random weirdness that came out of nowhere. And Will, my table mate in the same class, decided to help me out with a ton of my projects I was finishing up without me asking or signalling that I needed it. Just decided on his own to help me out and talk to me. It's so strange. Also, a lot more male customers come up to me when I'm not wearing makeup as well. Like, what is going on here? Is this some secret I never knew about? Do I have to wear makeup every day now? Because I don't want that. I don't want to feel obligated by the public to slap a face on. But if it keeps guys away from me, maybe I should. Less people that Aaron would have to potentially beat up ;) I just don't understand. Can someone please explain this anomaly to me? Because obviously, this concept of no make up being optimal is foreign to me...

Anywho.... I have Chelsea over. We're probably going to go out of state for breakfast in the morning. Because that's how we do. I love you guys. All 1,414 of you ;)

I Don't Recall Buying You A Gunrack... Or Anything For That Matter

Okay, so anyone who's anyone has watched Wayne's World, right? Right. So, moving on. Anyone who's watched Wayne's World remembers the Gun Rack Girl, right (if not, I forgive you and set up this link for you loserfaces...here, click this -> Gun Rack Girl )? Well guess what. Some idiot apparently thinks I was his Gun Rack Girl. Really? Yeah, no. I was the girl that still cared enough to try to be your FRIEND after you treated me like shit. Also, I was the girl who tried to help you fix things with ANOTHER girl you wanted to be with. So please, enlighten me...how the F*** does that make me a GRG?
Oh, wait...IT DOESN'T.
In fact, I would go to say that it makes me the exact opposite. I would go to say that it makes me a decent, forgiving human being. Well no more. I have absolutely no reason to be decent to you, about you, or for you. I don't care if we're coworkers or not. You're being a prick, and therefore, you will be treated like one.
Good day, sir.

The Excitement Is So Overwhelming

Today has been incredibly lame. For whatever reason, I woke up at a decent time, and got showered by 10:30, which is incredibly strange for a Sunday. Aaron is definitely sick, but I did not visit him today. He was quarantined by his family because he had a small fever, and apparently, I am not allowed to get sick. Funny part is, I don't care if I get sick, but all of them seem to. Oh well, I'll try to weasel in a visit tomorrow on campus.
But today, I literally just sat here and did nothing. I showered and crawled out to the recliner and sat in my blankie poncho all day long. I watched the ID channel for a long while, passed out at some point, and then tried to watch a movie, but Grandma kept watching videos on her computer super loud with this one commercial that played before each one. Some wench talking about how you should BYOL: Bring Your Own Lettuce, and how her personal favorite is Arugula, and about this boxed salad topper crap from Lean Cuisine. I missed half of the damn words, but I picked up on the main story line, no thanks to the Lettuce Wench and her loud mouth.

I had my left over cookie dough for breakfast (yeah, I know I'm definitely on the right track for losing the fat I love to complain about). Some orange juice. Some hot cocoa. Oh, and Ramen noodles. Fricking acrobatic noodle. That thing came flying off of my chopstick and burned the crap out of my right eye. Whipped me right on it. Damn thing (okay, I don't know why I picked this picture, but it was weird, and this story is weird, and there are noodles involved. So deal. And no, I do not know this dude).

I get to start throwing tomorrow in Ceramics. All that means is using the pottery wheel. I have a feeling it's going to be a mess and a half. But It should be fun, we'll see.

Speaking of fun, a trip to Chicago is in the works. Sort of a birthday weekend for me and Chelsea, since her birthday is at the end of March, and mine is the beginning of April. We're thinking of taking the train in, and there was discussion about Millennium Park (of course!!) and Ed Debevic's. It should be a good weekend, for sure :) So far it's just the usual suspects, but Allie and her boyfriend, Cody, were also invited. We'll see who all ends up going, though. I'm sure Aaron, Chelsea, and I will have fun regardless of who else tags along. We always seem to manage; after all it's how everything began in the first place.
And Allie has missed out on so much of my life lately that I didn't even think to text or call her when Aaron and I started dating. Plans keep getting cancelled and moved back, and so she's not really the first person that comes to mind anymore, unfortunately. But I don't know if she'll even want to go with us to Chicago. I feel like she still partially blames me for our not hanging out. I don't know.
Either way, I will have a very enjoyable day/night with my extremely wonderful boyfriend and one of my ridiculously close friends. It'll be a great early birthday to spend a day away with them <3

Anyways, there is some bogus High School drama that I have to go deal with now. Fucking ridiculous.
Goodnight, everyone. Hopefully your day was more eventful than this girl's.

Bedroom Floor Revelations (It Gets Serious)

An old friend of mine came into work today. Well, someone who used to be a really good friend, anyways. Part of me was sad that we didn't communicate in any other way than me pointing to the fitting room her mother was in. But at the same time, I still loathed being in her presence. It brought back so many memories of the times I had to deal with the crazy that was Karina. And to think that I made excuses for her, for god's sake.
Either way, it made me start thinking about how many "friends" I have on Facebook, and thinking about it just kind of made me want to delete my account and start over. I didn't do that, that would have been too much work, and I know that all of my old stuff would still be out on the internet anyways. Luckily, they changed the settings so you can edit your friends from your list instead of having to go through each individual's page...so I went through and deleted a decent number of people, about 40 total. I have a little over 100 friends. Some that I'm really close to, some I can't bear to delete because we've been friends for so long in real life. Even if we don't talk in real life, it's nice to keep up with some of the people I stayed friends with for pretty much my entire life. And some of those friends are just friends' family or family friends. So I think I have a decent number considering all of the people I used to have when I first started friend-weeding (that's what I call this periodic sweep of unneeded "friends").

Included in the friend sweep was a certain ex that everyone (who knows me well enough, that is) would be very proud of me deleting. He was just someone I remained friends with for no good reason, honestly. We hardly ever talk anymore, and when we do, he almost always tries to persuade me into coming over to either his house or his college, and my attitude towards that has always just been, "No." He'll probably get pissy like the last time that I deleted him, but I don't care anymore. That part of my life is over. And all you girls who know who I'm talking about, I can feel you rolling your eyes and saying, "suuuuure you are," because I've said it before, for about 6 years now. But I'm serious. I don't need people like that in my life.
I'm starting to realize how many real friends I have, and I can tell that by the decreasing number of them that I'm growing up. On average, as said by my PSY professor, adults only have between 4 & 6 genuine friends. Sounds about right to me.

Even the group of guys is getting weird anymore. One of them makes everything difficult, and occasionally pisses everyone off. But with me, things are different because we dated early back in high school; so he makes absolute sure that it's hell when he's there with me. He just loves to piss me off, or give me the silent treatment. He's begun to drive a wedge between me and everyone else too, and honestly, if they're going to let that happen, then I guess we aren't as good of friends as we'd all thought. I'm not saying he's totally to blame, because I know I also partake in the hell making on occasion, but I think I'm just over all of the high school level drama that's going on anymore.

And yes, I realize that friends go through weird phases where you're always with a certain group for a few months, then another group, then another, until you come back full circle. But I want my circle to be smaller. Less friendships that I have to maintain means that I'll be able to maintain them better, and have greater friendships than if my circle was large. I mean, think about it. If you had 80 children that you had to take care of versus about 3, the 3 kids are going to get more attention and have closer relationships with their parents than the family with 80 kids. And I often feel like the motherly friend in all of my groups anyways, so comparing my friends to children really isn't that far fetched. I'm always the one to give advice, the shoulder to cry on, the outlet to vent to. I can't be there for everyone and understand everyone's problems all at once. Especially when I'm having my own to deal with on occasion. Someone will feel left out or less loved and I'm going to end up being the one crabbed at about it in the end. So I'd rather nip that in the butt before it happens. I'd rather tend to the friendships I think are worth keeping than to waste time on the ones that are not. I'm sorry if you end up being one of those people that I don't tend to. But it's nice to feel like I'm appreciated by the people I care about, and the people who make me feel that way are the ones who will always be there for me. It's a natural cycle.

Also, I'm changing who I am to begin with, so at some point, friendships were bound to fall apart, solely because some of us having grown up a little more than others, or having different life experiences than others. Like I said, I'm over the high school level drama. I'm not particularly a fan of the adult level drama, either, but at least most of it is relevant to me, or has some kind of impact on my life.

Mostly, I'm doing this in hopes of starting over. After my experiences in 2012, I began to realize that I didn't really seem to have a purpose. I was just kind of there to be there. I didn't think for myself, I let others make decisions for me. I lived my life through others, and I lost myself somewhere along the way. Well I'm starting over. I'm becoming who I want to be, without any limitations. I'm not giving up on my old life, my old friends.  I'm not forgetting my old life, my old memories. But I'm definitely making room for new ones.
I'm making room for new people to enter my life, and making more room for those that want to stay. Most of all, I'm learning to let go. You can't move forward without realizing that you're human, and that you'll make mistakes here and there. Mine was letting go of myself and getting lost in the tumultuous environment of high school and superficial relationships, useless friendships. And maybe this will be viewed as a mistake later on in my life, I don't know yet. But I know that I need to start finding myself. My relationship with Aaron is anything but superficial, and my friendships beyond him are anything but useless.

I still believe this, though...
Mistakes are inevitable in life. You're bound to make them. It's whether you learn from them or not that differentiates them into two different categories. One is Experience, from which you've learned. The other is Insanity, from which you expect different results from performing the same actions.

So here's to letting go, moving forward, and finding yourself. Here is to me becoming everything that I can be.
To ship this blog off with some pep, here's a link to a pretty fitting SafetySuit song, called, you guessed it....
Let Go
Cheers.

Just Another Saturday :)

After Aaron's last night/this morning, I headed over to Chelsea's to spend the night. Apparently, I hogged the bed with nothing but my ass, which isn't all that hard to believe, since I've definitely got a black girl's butt. But that's alright, extra cushion for those uncomfortable bike seats. We stayed up for another hour or two, maybe until 3 or 4 this morning, doing nothing really. Entertaining ourselves on the interwebs.
We woke up around noon, and met Aaron for "brunch" around 1:30 at a local restaurant. Muy delicioso <3
Then I went to work, which was absolutely crazy. Everyone coming in to spend their tax return money. Primarily the tiny women who squeeze themselves into size 3s and 5s and complain that they've gained 5 pounds in a year (actually heard that sentence today...disgusted to the max). I worked the Fitting Room, of course, and I had 4 Z-racks of nothing but Juniors clothes by the end of the night. It felt like every time one would be cleared, there'd be 2 more to replace it. I cleared one before I left, but jeez, I can't imagine having to have closed tonight. I managed to doodle very minimally tonight, however. They're kind of whatever.

Chelsea broke up the misery of my work shift by bringing me the coolest Fitting Room gift ever::
I'm seriously in love with these things... but only the mint ones. I like the other ones, but the mint ones are my absolute favorite. After I got off of work, I found another little token of awesomeness underneath my windshield wiper, in true Chelsea style: Whovian weirdness. I went back over to her place where we both had our own feast of cookie dough and milk. I only ate about half of my slab of dough, though. We watched I Love Lucy like the true badasses we are. Notice the Lion King cup ;) (I love that movie like no other. Always have, always always always will).

Poor Aaron thinks he's coming down with something, looks like I might end up playing nurse for a little while. But I don't mind, he treats me well enough to be taken care of occasionally :) He's lucky he's cute <3

Anyways, goodnight, y'all. Blog to ya tomorrow :)

Chelsea's little note for me since work was stressing
me out:
"I hope your night has gotten better. I love you hun =)
Smile! Everything will be okay =)
<3/Chels"

Yum-tastic feast :D

Yup.

So tonight in a nutshell? Fricking awesome.
And I watched Star Wars tonight with Aaron (Ep 5: Empire Strikes Back). And I liked it. I may become a fan. I'm not okay with this haha
Other than that, no details. Okay thanks, bye ;)

She's A Super Flake, Super Flake, She's Super Flaky... (Let's Talk About Sex)

She's A Super Flake, Super Flake, She's Super Flaky...

I am losing my mind, I swear. Yesterday I searched for my deodorant for about 20 minutes, and had to enlist help from my grandmother, only to find that (for reasons that are beyond me) I had put it in my pants drawer. I still have no clue what made me think to look in there.
I just laid in bed until about 3 this afternoon, going in and out of sleep and having the most fragmented, weird dream ever. There was a thrift shop, and a car, and sex, and an office, and who knows what else. Jacked up. I don't even know. But I must say, it was the first sex dream I remember having, and from the sounds of it, mine was low key compared to some people's that I've heard before.And at least it wasn't about someone awful or some celebrity or anyone other than who it should have been about. I think that's a good thing. That's a good thing, right?


(Let's Talk About Sex)

I don't know. We're not at that point yet as far as I can tell. At least, I don't think I am. But I can't honestly say I'd argue with him over it. That's a "we'll cross that bridge when we get to it" kind of thing; neither of us has really made any moves to progress further in our physical relationship, so I think we're where we're at, and that's that; but if he tried to do more than kiss me once, I'd be 100% okay with that, I wouldn't push him away at all. Especially when it's one of those "we're laying down and I turn just enough to see him up on one elbow" moments; inside I'm always begging for him to kiss me. He just looks so wonderful in those moments (not that he doesn't always look wonderful). I just can't bring myself to do it first, I guess. I'm not one to make the moves in that sense though. I'm more forward about the initial interest in someone, but after that, I'm very shy. I'd get too nervous and think too much about it. That's how I am. I know there are definitely spots on me though that turn my nerves totally 100% off and just turn me, in general, on. And I know that if they were to be found, I'd be less weird about the subject of sex in a relationship. Because my brain just kind of melts with those spots. Although my brain is never on full function anymore anyways.

Anyways. New subject.
This video is totally a wtf moment... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MkzdOEIPys&sns=fb
Lots of links on my blog tonight. Hm. Must be in a mood of some sort.
My brain is in about a million places at once. Like I'm not really sure of any of the places it's in, no specifics. I's kind of like my brain is short circuiting with all the weird things that one stinkin dream made me think about plus trying to figure out what tomorrow's plans officially are. I almost feel like I need to be with Aaron and sort things out either in my head or our heads, but at the same time, that might be dangerous. Not sure yet. But I do know that I'd be okay with another lazy date night. Especially with the weather we're supposed to have...
I AM SO TIRED OF SNOW. Get it OFF.

On another note, I think my phone is being a super brat and not responding to his texts lately. Well, not consistently anyways. So if I've had conversations with you where I seem to just cut off, it's probably my phone :( Chances are if I haven't responded in about 15 minutes, it's because of my phone. Just send me the message again and I'll know that my phone's being a brat...

Goodnight everyone...

Nights Like These

Can I just say that I am happier than I think I've ever been? Picking Aaron up tonight was probably the best thing that I could have done. I just wish his plane had left on time so I could have spent just that little bit of extra time with him. It never feels like quite enough, I'm always sad to go. At least tomorrow is Thursday, which means that I get to see him again after class :) It's nights like these I'm happy to be alive <3 The more time I spend with him the better it gets, which just makes saying goodbye even harder. The way he laughs, the way he holds me, his smile, his voice...everything about him makes me want to know every part of him I haven't met yet. Every day is new, but yet there's a level of comfort (that usually would only come after a long relationship) that's already there. I feel like I can trust him with every part of me, which is something I'm not accustomed to.

I never feel the need to try to impress him, never feel the need to try to look great, never feel the need to push him away. He met me when I was 100% myself, and liked me for who I am. He's pretty much seen me in every dynamic: no makeup, makeup, curly hair, straight hair, glasses, no glasses, hair up, hair down...and he still wants to be with me. And when we're together, I just want to be near him, like there's a magnetic pull. He almost always leaves me feeling like today was the best day. And it's solely because any day with him is the best day. 

We don't have to do anything special, ever. I could spend everyday curled up under the covers watching old shows and movies if it was with him. And when I turn over just enough to see him looking down at me with that perfect little smile of his, it makes me want to stay there forever, in that exact moment. He's just so perfect to me, for me...and he makes me almost feel perfect when I'm with him too. We all have cracks somewhere in ourselves, whether it be self esteem or not. But he never fails to make me forget about mine and get a smile on my face, and a few extra beats in my chest. He always leaves me feeling more towards him than I thought possible at this point in our relationship. He makes me feel like maybe this is going to be something perfect, something that lasts for many years to come. Like I've said before, maybe even forever.

You might not think he's perfect. You might not even think he's cute. But that's okay, because that means there's more of him for me. Which is great, because I think that maybe, just maybe, he could have me believing in fate. He's not perfect all around, none of us are. But he's perfect for me, and that is what matters <3 He is what matters to me, and no matter how soon it is, no matter how crazy you think I am...
I'm happy, and incredibly so. 

And that is definitely something to fall in love with.

Step 2: Oh HELL No

So, some of you may have seen my Step 1 blog awhile back. Well my Step 2 was something a lot different than this in my head, but someone really pissed me off. Someone who viewed that blog had the balls to e-mail me about it, and how inappropriate those pictures were. Here you go, have a looksie (changed her name to protect the poor soul):

"Alexis

Me reading that e-mail...

ur post about ur waitloss is inspirationel, but i think that u shouldnt hav posted some of those pics. people like me who go to church dont want to see half nakd ppl in our living rooms. i'm srry if i offended you, but mayb u should have waited to post pics til you were skinny :) thanks!
Jennifer"

Wow. Where the hell do I even begin? Let's go through this step by step, shall we? I believe what you MEANT to say was this:
"Alexis,
I'm an ignorant bastard that can't spell worth a shit, but I am going to try to tell you how to live anyways.
Your post about your weight loss was inspirational, but I think that you shouldn't have posted some of those pictures. People like me, who go to church (and who are apparently super prudes who have never seen someone in a sports bra and basketball shorts) don't want to see half naked people in our living rooms. I apologize if this offends you, but maybe you should have waited to post pictures until you were skinny :) Thanks!
Jennifer"

Well you know what I have to say to that?

Where the hell do you get off thinking you can tell me what to post? If you don't like it, too bad. You found a way to my post, you should be able to find a way away from it, preferably to an English dictionary. Also, that last part? WOW. "Until [I was] skinny" was definitely the best part of this whole damn mess of an e-mail you sent me. In case you haven't noticed, skinny does not always equal beautiful. For example:

Damn, that girl is just so hot. I can barely contain myself here. I might just cream my pants thinking about her. Or NOT.

Or how's this one for you? I mean, you said mine were inappropriate, so this one is a special delivery, just for you, darling. Go ahead. Look at it. They won't bite. They don't eat in the first place. I bet you think they're beautiful, don't you??
And the way you flatter yourself by implying you'd ever have the ability of offending me is just too rich to put into words. You can't even bother to use spell check, for god's sake. All you did was make me remember how fucking ignorant our society is these days.
I may not have the best body, but you know what? It's mine. I own it. I love it. It's way more beautiful than half of the people I know and that is because of one reason and one reason only: It's the body of one pretty damn confident young woman. Weight does not directly coincide with beauty. Confidence does. And that is why I am 100% comfortable with all of these lovely images of myself. And if you're not, well then too damn bad. Get used to it, because I'm not changing for anyone.

Yes, I have stretch marks. But my body is not ruined. I'm a god damn tiger who earned her stripes. You can just start calling me Tony.
I earned these marks on my thighs through an incredible cross country season.

I earned the ones on my sides from making it through a very tough year; while yes, it wasn't the healthiest way to deal with the stress and make it through that year, I still did it, and by the forces I have within myself, I made it through that year.







Stretch marks or not, I AM FUCKING BEAUTIFUL, and you cannot, WILL NOT, tell me otherwise.

I truly find it amazing how an individual can have their foot in their mouth and their head shoved up their ass all at once. I will never understand such an amazing feat.

Alright, well goodnight, everyone. You're all beautiful <3 Some of your attitudes just aren't :P
Oh and a small P.S. thanks for helping me break 1,000 page views, guys, I had 1,030 as of the beginning works of this post.